AAAAh, Those were the days

My mum used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread butter on bread on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn’t seem to get food poisoning.

Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but I can’t remember getting e. Coli

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake or at the beach instead of a  pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

We  all took PE ….. And risked permanent injury with a pair of Dunlop sandshoes instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors that cost as much as a small car. I can’t recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

We got the cane for doing something wrong at school, they used to call it discipline yet we all grew up to accept the rules and to honour & respect those older than us. We had 50 kids in our class and we all learned to read and write, do maths and spell almost all the words  needed to write a grammatically correct letter……., FUNNY THAT!!

We all said prayers in school irrespective of our religion, sang the national anthem and no one got upset. Staying in detention after school caught allsorts of negative attention we wish we hadn’t  got. I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can’t  recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo,  X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations. We weren’t!!

Oh yeah …. And where was the antibiotics and sterilisation kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played “King of the Hill” on piles of gravel left on vacant building sites and when we got hurt, mum pulled out the 2/6p bottle of iodine and then we got our backside spanked. Now it’s a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10 day dose of antibiotics and then mum calls the lawyer to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a  threat.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that? We never needed to get into group therapy and/or anger management classes. We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn’t even notice that the entire country wasn’t taking Prozac!    How did we ever survive?


Loo Lament

By “Anonymous”

Isn`t a` thing fine and comfy noo?

There`s even carpets in the loo,

Bit sixty `eer ago an mair,

The watteries were sae caul and bare.

Nae fancy coloured toilet roll,

Nae bonny pot – a timmer hole,

Ye`d nae fin ony carpet there,

Some crackit waxcloth on the fleer.


A timmer sheddie sax bi fower,

Leaning like the Eiffel Tower,

An` cracks— far howlin` win` blew in,

The reef a roostie sheet o` tin.


The W.C.— for Water Closet,

Ye spent nae time on your deposit,

For fegs there was nae comfort there,

An caul on bits ye hid tae bare.


Foo Water Closet? That beats me,

For ilka ain wis dry ye see,

The fancy pot a stable pail,

I`ll nae gang in tae mair detail.


Upon the wa` hung up wi threed,

“The Peoples Freen”wis ther tae read,

It had been torn intae squares,

So ye` just sat there — and said your prayers


The seat wis often roch and crackit,

An` files ye`d fin yir hin eyne hackit,

Ye jerkit up yer drawers `n sark,

Five meenits —– ye were back at work.


Bit noo-a-days they sit for ages

Hoastin` an turnin` ower pages,

A cosy place tae sit and smoke,

A saft seat—— easy on the doke.


I dinna wint auld watteries back,

Bit lord be here, the time they tak,

There maun be oors an oors lost noo,

Wi gaein fowk a comfy loo.


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